As my forgetful daughter, Momo left for school for practicing and preparing the concert she is participating today, I sat in the kitchen table with freshly made coffee, thinking what and how to cook the Christmas dinner we are having tonight at home. Then the phone rang. My heart doesn't dance as I pick the phone in the morning because those calls at the time of the day are usually emergency calls. As I looked at my cell phone, my heart actually sank because it was from my daughter and I knew it would definitely an emergency one.
Oh no...I thought to myself.
"Bring the costume to school. I forgot them all."
Of course...it is the concert day, isn't it? Why didn't I make sure that she had everything?
"Mum! Are you listening? Bring the band uniform! ok?"
After taking a long sigh and deep inhale, I finally manage to say, "Ok.", thinking how I was gonna complete this mission without my car.
As soon as I put my phone down, the well informed critics in my head started shouting at me,
"You are spoon feeding Momo. She can't be responsible if you help her all the time. "
" You are overprotecting mum."
"Do you know who would be called? Helicopter mum!"
" You are sending her a wrong message by doing what she asks to do. "
" You are spoiling your daughter!"
"You will regret what you are about to do!"
Another big sigh, coming out of my heart.
I needed to sit down on the chair in the kitchen and started to reflect what Momo was going through. On the Christmas eve, she left home for school in the early morning, practicing for the concert she would give with other high schoolers of the city where her school is located. I imagined her little dried hands with heaps of small cuts from carrying the heavy musical instruments for her club mates. I imagined her little swallowed lips from practicing trombone for the concerts during this holiday. I imagined her smile on the stage when she successfully performed her part. I imagined her numerous sighs and mumbles when things get too challenging to deal with. I imagined her jolly whistles as she wipes her tears. Then I had to put myself together and find out how I could deliver the uniform on time using the public transportation.
Then my phone rang again. It was from my mum, telling me to get the uniform ready to deliver. Apparently, she was also notified by Momo about the emergency. Most of you might go,
"What a spoilt child she is!"
"That is awful to ask such a thing to her grandma in the early Christmas eve morning."
And I agree with you. She is a spoilt brat. But she is also considerate and sweet girl who often acts considering others happiness and tries to do her best. She didn't mean to forget things but her mind is not capable of retaining all the information she gets. She feels stressed out and annoyed by her forgetful mind as well. I know how awful she feels whenever she forgets to bring something because I've been there. I was exactly like her at her age but I had a less crazy schedule. I had plenty of time to check and support in case of "emergency". My mum laughed at my forgetfulness and never got angry with it. And even with her grand daughter, she shows the forgiveness and humor. Again this morning, she called us to give helping hand again. But while my little critics shouting to my ears, I almost refused her help, saying Momo needs to learn how to be responsible. Then Mum said,
"She's got plenty of time to learn that. But you don't do that today. It is Christmas eve and let her enjoy the spirit."
Lately my mum aged so quickly and forget things. She also struggles with her forgetfulness and understand how irritating it can be. It has been upsetting for me to see her in a mess for she was a super mum. Selfishly and childishly I expect her to stay the way she has been without considering her age. But I admit I haven't been considerate or supportive enough with her. In spite of my childishness, she gave us a help without any conditions. She just gives without any expectations. She shows us how to be compassionate and what the Christmas spirit is all about.
Perhaps Momo won't realize how amazingly wonderful her grandma is till she has the same experience as I did today. I felt so small and awful but at the same time so lucky to have a great role model as a mum. I was a spoilt brat like Momo when I was her age and sometimes I still am if not worse. But I remember how helpful the laughter of my mum when I did something stupid and realized how those laughters and humor made who I am today. I am full of errors and faults but my mum loves who I am. Why can't I do the same to my daughter?
It is so unfair if I don't accept who she is because I was forgiven and accepted as who I was. It is my turn to do so. My mum said to me when I had Momo,
"Enjoy your motherhood! It would be full of discoveries. Enjoy it while you can!"
What a gift I got on Christmas eve! It is the messy and crazy motherhood for a teenager that I can experience and learn from only once in the life time. As my mum says, I would let myself enjoy the thrilling ride with occasional emergency calls and lots of laughters. After all, those crazy and silly moments would make unforgettable memories.