Friday, September 14, 2012


My new work in Hiroo, the affluent society. Kids look and act differently from kids around here. many of them start learning English with native English speakers as early as 1 and half and keep on taking classes at the school till 15. Up to 3, they actually just play with teachers doing various activities such as crafts, drawings, playing games and singing songs. Only difference is the language. Only English is spoken in the classroom. Pedagogically speaking, it is emersion program and can be the most authentic way to learn a language, however, psychologically I am not sure how harmful to put the kids away from their moms for a few hours a day a week. If it is mummy and me classes, I think it is good in some ways:
Mums can build Mummy networks to get some information about child rearing.
Finding friends might decrease the stress from mums.
Mums and kids can share fun time.
Kids are happier when mums are happy.

Mummy and me classes are beneficial for new mums to outlet their stress. Mentally healthy mum can provide better nurturing so that it ultimately important for kids. I think those classes are not directly for kids to develop their social skills. They are for mums to stay healthy physically and psychologically.

But the question is if mums are really aware of the fact. Don't they think the classes are for solely kids?

I am a mum and I admit that scary tendency of a mummy's ego in myself. In fact, this morning I felt a big disappointment, rage, stress and other negative feelings crawled up on me as my teenage daughter shouted at me, "Where is my training-wear for PE class today?" It was right after I put them in the washing machine. It wasn't my fault. She should have informed me that she needed it. Whenever she put the attitude, I feel defeated and then rage and disappointment came after me. Then after that, a big fight usually follows. But this morning, I didn't let myself lose in the terrible routine. Thanks to the TKC. I've been thinking about motherhood and my ridiculous tendencies a lot. The best way to deal with the situation for me is to tell her how unfair her statement is and then leave her alone to think about her own behavior. I finally managed to do so without going hysterical. Oh, how I feel proud of myself.
At the same time, it is important for me to let go of my massive ego as a perfect mum as well. I am not perfect but trying the best I can. Therefore, I don't take any irrational criticize from anyone. However, in such a heartbreaking situations, more importantly, I need to know where the disappointment and the rage come from. It is not solely the reaction to my daughter's terrible attitude and awful comments. It certainly is my ego working as a mum. I am supposed to be a A plus mum, craving for praises and admirations. This expectation for myself got me feel terrible whenever my daughter gets the attitude. I can't humor the situation. I can't be objective and rational. Such a ridiculous accusation she gave me this morning can be laughed at and forgotten in a second. But why can't I? Because my pride as a mum is usually shattered by negative comments and that's what hurt me the most. When I can identify what  goes wrong and where the negative feelings come from, I can deal with it and put myself together.

I used to think motherhood is for kids like those mums at mummy and me. But now I truly believe motherhood is for myself to develop as more mature person. To know who I am and perhaps who I would like to be. Without the lessons I got from my daughter, I would have been less patient, considerate, brave, studious, humorous, skillful and calm. I am still very self-centered and egoistic being  but I was definitely worse. Motherhood got me through so many emotional roller-coasters as well as overjoys. I am afraid to tell you the truth that your kids are your worst and best mirror of yourself. You need to take a look at it really well and tell yourself what you see. Ouch! That's what I usually say. But that is when I get to know myself more and grow liking myself as well.

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