Sometimes a miracle happens for some reasons. It happened in the most challenging class I had yesterday. I say "challenging" but actually it is relatively easy and fun class. I had three boys -one is a 1st grader who joined the class from this month. The other one is relatively new, 2nd grader who has a bit of trouble to sit still and shut his mouth more than 10 seconds. which can be a trouble in a big class but in my class no problem but adorable. But another one has been a heartache to me because of his apathy. I can handle too much energy but apathy has been killing me. He used to come to my class with a big irresistible smile on his face but as soon as he entered an elementary school this April, he eventually lost interest in learning English. He keeps saying he is busy for doing other things.
The heartbreaking boy didn't show up on time. I was a bit upset about that but it turned out to be good because I could pay attention to those two other boys till he showed up. I knew he forgot (or wanted to forget) to come so that I gave him a call and said, "We are waiting for you!" Others were already deeply engaged in their activities by the time he came and had no issue with me paying full attention to their classmate.
When he rushed into the class, I sensed something a bit positive in him somehow. Did he finally become aware how much I care? Did he have an exceptionally good time at school or after school? Did he have some magical food like chocolate to make him feel less intense and reasonable? Did he finally find how cool learning English can be?
Anyway, we were doing number bingo and I invited him to join us. Unexpectedly, he did gladly and won the game. I thought to myself, "YES! This might be the best time to show him his own capability." but remained as calm as possible not to deprive him of his triumph. Instead, without any break, we did phonics book. This time, he was quite engaged and managed to read the first word. With my spontaneous admiration, he became on fire. I enjoyed witnessing his enthusiasm as well as amazing capability and potential.
The big change to note here were that his school classmate joined this class and two big boys moved to a different class. And perhaps the biggest one was my mind setting. It has been changed in great deal since I started writing this journal. I consider their circumstances more carefully and realized how lucky I am to share time with those kids including him. Having a brilliant consultant for my school from last month is also a great help for this positive change in myself. There might be more reasons for the positive change in this boy. Whatever the reasons are, I was so thrilled and blissful to feel the positive air in the classroom AGAIN.
Of course, it is too early to conclude that everything will be okay but at least I had a blast with those three boys for the first time in a while. Which will make me gigglish for a while and I know from my experience, such a giggle brings more giggles in others, making a big circle of positive vibe.
At the end of the class, I thanked him dearly for bring the marvelous atmosphere back to the class. He looked happy and proud what he had achieved. And I thought, "This is the reason why I keep on trying to be better not only as a teacher/ researcher but also as a person." It was amazing and humbling to recognize how much power such a little one can have over me.
I am really motivated more than ever and hope it would last a little more than a week.
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